What would you say to a young girl who would give up her dreams just to fulfil her family’s expectations, or because of the pressure from her family or boyfriend?
I would rather be reminded by what the elders in my community used to say “kuin mas kar-kar mahoh,” meaning, you must hustle.
I never knew how it would work for me, until I hit the age when society began to notice me; a woman. And BOOM. Out of the blue marriage seemed to hunt me, to an extent that only led to disappointment and upset against my family’s wishes.
I turned down three arranged marriages, just because I have this crazy dream and goal that I really don’t know how to achieve. I was so desperate to go back to study, but I didn’t have the money, even though there was a potential opportunity presented in one of the arranged marriages. But as a girl, being me, I didn’t want it that way. I want to have it by my own means. So, I find a job, and the little that I earn I save and invest in myself by completing my education.
Young vanua women; life is challenging and sometimes it will hit you hard in the face, and just when you have picked yourself up, it can still kick you in the stomach. But know this. At the brink of tough times like these, strong and determined women are made.
Many times, women are told to do certain things that they would not do for themselves but others. And just because it seems like the right thing to do, doesn’t mean you have to. The world is accustomed to so many beliefs and values that are placed on women like price tags.
But it takes a confident woman to remain who is she; do what she’s passionate about; chase her dream until she proudly achieves it; and creates her own happiness.
Letting people talk you into doing something you’re not ready for, especially marriage, is a bad habit. Be content with yourself.
If there is anything I’ve learnt from this life, then this is it. Men or marriages should be an addition to your already happy life, but not the reason. And young ladies, don’t let anyone stand between you and your mind. Not everyone’s journey in education is the same, so it’s okay if yours took a little longer than others, just don’t settle for less than what you could be, and do you. You will still get there. Be a hustler and leave a trail others can follow.
Did you know? They called me the weird angle of the family. Whatever they called you, be your own kind of weird angle.