
Introduction
Elsie: Halo olgeta, I’m Elsie, welcome to the RoundTable Podcast. We’ve created this space for Ni-Vanuatu women to speak freely on issues affecting us today. Let’s navigate life in the islands together. Join me as I speak to a new guest every episode and ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask. Ale yumi storian. This project is made possible with the support of the WeRise Coalition and PECMAS.
TRANSLATIONS: Hello everyone, I’m Elsie, welcome to the RoundTable Podcast. We’ve created this space for Ni-Vanuatu women to speak freely on issues affecting us today. Let’s navigate life in the islands together. Join me as I speak to a new guest every episode and ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask. Let’s discuss. This project is made possible with the support of the WeRise Coalition and PECMAS.
Elsie: I would like to think that i am a supportive friend, that I’m a girl’s girl. I’m always ready to show up for my friends, support them, encourage them, and i truly believe in them and their capacities. But I’m at a time in my life where i understand more about friendships. I know there is such a thing as being a bad friend where you intentionally guide your friends in the wrong direction towards things that are bad for them just because you’re afraid of being honest or giving them constructive criticism. Now, I am not the only one who recognizes this. A great woman before me has written about how women can relate to each other and relate to society in Vanuatu. Grace Mera Molissa, who was definitely ahead of her time back then, dropped this gem of knowledge in her opening for her book, Colonized People. It goes, Ni-Vanuatu women cannot be free until they are honest with themselves. Ni-Vanuatu women cannot be free until they learn to internalize and realize the difference between destructive criticism and constructive criticism and actively apply in practice only constructive criticism of each other and support one another in the exercise of their professional functions and responsibilities.
On this episode, we talk about friendships, what is constructive criticism and what is not. Joining us on this episode is a young woman leader who was part of the Young Women’s Leadership Program. The Young Women’s Leadership Program is led by CARE International and they have partnered with Sista to help young women build their leadership capacities. Talula-Fay Taribakeo is a young woman from the island of Ambae and Malekula. She’s part-time student at USP and a dedicated volunteer, having worked with the NetGo program, CARE, and the Vanuatu Cooperative Business Network. Currently Talula is a project officer with Sista, where she combines her passion for online work with hands-on projects. She is also an Alumni of the Young Women’s Leadership Program and during these workshops, much of Grace Molissa’s writing and sisterhood and female relationships was talked about.
Elsie: Hi Talula. Thank you for joining me at the roundtable.
Talula: Hi Elsie.
Elsie: What does that excerpt from Grace’s work in colonized people mean to you?
Talula: Okay, thank you Elsie. Long mi, eksap long wok blong Grace Mera Molisa i tokbaot impoten blong self-awareness mo sapot bitwin ol woman blong Vanuatu, mo long ol narafala pipol insaed long kolonial sosayeti. Molisa i talem se impoten blong yu mas onaest wetem yu wan fastaem bifo yu save kasem tru fridom. Hemia i min se bifo eni ekstanal libereisen i save kamtru, yu mas mekem wan self-awareness we yu talem tru long yu wan, lukluk insaed long yu wan, mo akseptem hu yu tru long yu experience mo identity blo yu. Distinction between destraktiv mo konstraktiv critisicm blo mekem makem difrens bitwin destraktiv kritik mo konstraktiv kritik i impoten long process blo growth tu olsem process ia. Lo destraktiv kritik i mekem man i foldaon olsem blo definem, i mekem man i faldaon, i mekem man i no strong, mo i stap karem gohed ol saekel blong oppression mo self-doubt we oltaem oli stap kam long yumi. Taem Molisa i tokbaot konstraktiv kritik between yumi everiwan emi stap showem pawa blo community mo collective progress. Lo colonial context weh division mo competition i sace kam ol tool long ol man weh stap lo kontrol, mekem wan kalja blo konstractiv toktok mo wok tugeta i kam act lo resistance mo empowerment. Emi abaot mekem ol ples weh ol woman lo yumi Ni-Vanuatu mo ol narafala grup weh oli stap blong wan hard taem oli save toktok mo jenisim or wan narawan or lukaotem wan way weh stap blo leftemap mo no mekem trabol mo mekem rod i open tru lo empowerment mo self-determination.
Long esens, blo mesej blong Molisa i wan kol blong akshen blong ol woman blong Ni-Vanuatu blong leftemap wan narawan tru long onest self-assessment mo sapot bitwin yumievriwan. Hem i wan reminder blo se libereisen i no nomo wan politikol o sosal gol be wan persol mo komuniti jeni we i nidim karej, empathy, mo strong sapot blong yumi wan wan mo narawan tu.
Elsie: Thank you Talula. I love how you dissected the whole piece. I loved that you brought in the importance of having that self-awareness to then be able to provide, you know, that constructive criticism that everybody touched on that. And what Grace talked about in her time as being a challenge women face and how they relate to each other. Do you think we still have that challenge today?
Talula: Thank you Elsie. Yes, I believe the challenge Grace Mera Molisa discussed regarding how women relate to each other still persists today. The dynamics of criticism and support among women continue to be significant issues. The distinction between destructive and constructive criticism remains as relevant as ever. In many communities, including those influenced by colonial legacies, women often face pressure to conform to certain standards and expectations, leading to judgment and competition rather than collaboration and mutual upliftment. The societal and cultural pressures that promote destructive criticism can undermine women’s solidarity and hinder their collective progress. Despite the advancements in gender equality and empowerment, women still navigate environments where negative criticism can be more prevalent than positive reinforcement. This can create barriers to personal and professional growth, making it crucial for women to actively practice constructive criticism and support each other. Building a culture of constructive feedback and mutual support is an ongoing effort. It requires continuous awareness, education, and day by day by fostering environments where women can honestly constructively engage with one another, and we can help overcome these challenges and promote greater solidarity and empowerment.
Elsie: I have to agree with your answer. I also think it’s still quite a challenge. And i think since being part of Sista and being present in these kinds of spaces, and am sure Talula you’ve seen that as well, it’s still really hard to be able to have these like kinds of conversations, to have the hard conversations to hold each other accountable, to provide constructive criticism without taking it to heart. I think that’s something that a lof of women are, I wouldn’t say struggling but are trying to overcome because yes as you mentioned it is still, it’s still a challenge. And i hope that one day we overcome this challenge and think in a lot of Grace’s writings are still very relevant to the issues in Vanuatu. In her work called Cooperation, she writes in her poem which goes, “Dare we allow Goodwill to prevail? Dare we welcome the spirit of co-operation? Dare we give and take, reciprocate, co-operate? Sister, you know where I am. If I am not reaching you, you reach me. It matters not to me who does it better!” I really like this little poem and i feel it does relate to a lot of the things that are happening for us young women and girls in particular today. Talula what does this mean to you? Do you think it’s relevant? It is still relevant? Like does this poem still carry relevance in the society we live in today?
Talula: Thank you Elsie. To me, Grace Mera Molisa’s poem speaks profoundly about the power and importance of goodwill and cooperation among women. The lines, “Dare we allow Goodwill to prevail? Dare we welcome the spirit of co-operation? Dare we give and take, reciprocate, co-operate?” challenge us to embrace a spirit of mutual support and collaboration. Molisa is urging women to move beyond competition and judgment, and instead, foster an environment where they support and uplift each other.The poem highlights the value of reciprocity and mutual aid.
Elsie: Now, I really like this particular poem from Grace. I think that it’s still relates to a lot of things that we’re going through as young women and girls today. Talula, what does this poem mean to? Do you think it’s still relevant to the work and to the experiences that we go through?
Talula: Thank you Elsie. To me, it challenged us to embrace a spirit of mutual support and collaboration. Molisa is urging women to move forward, beyond competition and judgement instead foster and environment where support and uplift each other. By saying sister, you know where i am. If I am not reaching you, you read me. If it matters not to me, who does it better? Molisa emphasizes that the essence of cooperation is not about comparing or competing but about being there for each other and following the connection and support we provide. It’s a call to prioritize and collective over individual achievements, understanding that success is sweeter and more meaningful when it’s shared. This message is still incredibly relevant today. In our modern world where competition can often be emphasized over collaboration and where social media can create pressure to compare ourselves to others. Molisa’s words remind us of the importance of solidarity and mutual support. Cooperation and goodwill are timeless values that can help us build stronger communities and more supportive networks. By embracing these principles we can create environments where everyone has the opportunity to thrive. Molisa’s work also encourages us to look beyond individual success, yeah. Molisa’s work encourages us to look beyond individual success and to see the value in helping each other, creating a ripple effect that benefits the entire community. Her call for cooperation is a reminder that together we are stronger and that by supporting one another, we can achieve more significant and meaningful progress. Also, Grace’s poem is a reflection on support among women.
Elsie: Thank you unpacking that for us Talula. I think i really liked what you said. You said, “success is sweeter when shared.” And I think in a lot of Grace’s poem, she does talk about cooperation and you unpacked it really well with how you spoke about it not being a competition and how we have to work together in order to achieve whatever it is that we want to achieve. So, thank you so much for unpacking that. In your opinion, how can women better support each other as sisters towards the same cause and cooperate more?
Talula: Thank you Elsie. So lo emia bai mi toktok small lo bislama. So lo mi blo helpem yumi blo blo bildim wan stronger sapot network i gat sam tingting weh i sta relate lo kaen ia lo solidarity, empowerment mo collaboration. Feswan emi olsem, hemi important tumas blo mekem ples weh ol woman i save kamout mo tokbaot ol experiences blo olgeta, ol jalenjes, mo ol success blo olgeta. So bai yumi no talem blo olgeta beh blo yumi. So emi includim mekem wan woman olsem example yu save mekem ol mama weh oli sta mekem ol grup blo olgeta insaed long community, ol onlaen ples tu weh individual i save kamaot mo sapotem wan narawan blo helpem wan wan lo saed blo communication mo understanding ah lo saed blo bildimap trust mo solidarity weh i save mekem wan foundation blo effective cooperation. Lo narafala saed tu sekon wan se hemi important tumas blo promotem lo saed blo mentorship mo role modeling. I save gat impact lo laef blo wan man. Blo promotem ol experience blo ol woman mo mentorem olgeta yangfaala woman blo save transferem knowledge mo skills kaen olsem lo sapot lo sisterhood mo olsem sapot blo bildimap ol yangfala weh oli sta kam antap. Mo tu mi tingse emi important tu blo advocatem olsem lo saed ia lo ko lo ol skuls weh, ol skuls tu oli should lanem lo saed ia blo promotem gender equality mo women empowerment weh i kam kaen olsem ia i impoten tumas mo includim equal access lo education, ol health care, lo saed blo economic opportunities, mo leadership posititon weh ol woman tu olsem, yumi ol woman yumi ol resource weh yumi needim ol sapot ia lo blo mekem wan success blo mekem yumi kam success mo yumi need blo sapotem yumi wan wan blo blo yumi wok tugeta from wan common goal ia. Mo tu narafala samting emi lo saed blo recognition olsem, olsem wan smol samting nomo or wanem yu mas traem happy lo wan narafala man. Celebratem ol diverse contribution blo ol woman lo Vanuatu hemi important tumas. Ol woman i stap playem ol vital role long ol different aspect lo society, lo saed blo agriculture, mo entrepreneurship weh i stap kam antap ko lo ol education mo ol community development. So mi tingse emi gud tumas blo yumi value mo recognisem olgeta contribution ia blo i save mekem wan way forward blo community blo yumi mo country blo yumitu. Finally, hemi olsem emi impoten tu blo jalenjem ol harmful stereotype mo social norms weh i stap go on lo society blo yumi between ol division mo competition between ol woman. Yumi need blo encouragem yumi wanwan, respectem ol narafala man or woman, blo save helpem blo brekem daon ol barriers ia. Mo yumi gat unity mo collective purpose. So lo essence blo mekem ples blo sapot mo promotem mentorship ia, advocatem gender equality, celebratem diversity mo jalenjem ol harmful norms, ol woman lo Vanuatu save helpem wan narawan mo collaboration more effective blo mekem tingting emi kam better blo country blo yumi.
So mi gat wan smol poem blo talemaot, so mi laekem tumas about poem blo Grace Mera Molisa emi wan message weh emi very important lo saed blo collaboration yes between ol woman. Blo yumi kam tugeta tu yumi no needim ol woman nomo mo yumi needim ol man tu blo mekem wan gudfala country blo yumi ia. So, i gat wan poem weh mi raetem lo ples ia emi about striving together. So heading blo poem ia hemi striving together. So, here it goes;
“STRIVING TOGETHER”
Grace, we hear your call, loud and clear,
To embrace cooperation, to shed fear.
In the vast challenges our nation faces,
We find strength in diverse spaces.
Dare we allow goodwill to guide our way,
In this struggle, night and day?
For the path ahead is not easy to tread,
But together, we’ll rise, not just in our head.
Sisters unite, in solidarity we stand,
Hand in hand, across the land.
Yet, the challenge looms large, we confess,
Without our brothers, it’s harder to address.
For the betterment of our dear nation,
We need all hands, every generation.
Men and women, side by side,
In this journey, together we stride.
So, Grace, we pledge to strive as one,
Until the battle is fought, until it’s won.
For Vanuatu’s future, bright and free,
Requires unity, you and me.
This poem acknowledges Grace Mera Molisa’s call for cooperation while emphasizing the need for both women and men to work together for the advancement of Vanuatu. It celebrates solidarity and emphasizes the importance of collective effort in overcoming challenges and building a brighter future.
Elsie: Thank you so much Talula, i loved how you unpacked that. You gave your honest opinion and i love that you wrote a little poem. Maybe we should ask all our guest to write poems. It’s alrigh am just kidding haha. So Talula as you already know, we’ve been doing this new thing on the roundtable where we ask our guests at the end of each episode in three words, how would you describe your journey as a woman navigating life in Vanuatu today?
Talula: Okay. Three words to describe the journey. Creating, Capable and Cooperation. Thank you.
Elsie: Thank you so much Talula and thank you so much for being part of this episode.
Talula: Thank you Elsie for having me.
Elsie: As always we love to leave you with good information to take away from each episode. Like Talula said it’s important to differentiate between destructive and constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is essential for growth and is the only way you and your friends and your colleagues, your family, whoever, it’s the only way they’re going to be able to change and change in a positive way, in a healthy way. Self-awareness. Girl, you need to sit with yourself and find time to understand what your values are, the support system you want to be part of, who you surround yourself with, and what their values are, because these are all key elements that will shape who you are and the choices that you make. And this last takeaway is especially for the ladies, we got to recognize. When you achieve something, recognize it. When your sister friend achieves something, recognize it. By acknowledging it, you’re showing that all you want to do is cooperate. You want to work with each other, support each other, and that this isn’t a competition, that we’re all here working towards the same goal. And in the wise words of Miss Grace herself, “sister, you know where I am if am not reaching you, you reach me. It matters not to me who does it better.”
That brings us to the end of this episode. We hope you enjoyed this episode and we hope that it will bring you and your circle of sister closer. As always, thanks for listening to the roundtable.
Ending: Make sure to check us out on Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok at sistavanuatu and our website sista.com.vu. This is Elsie from the Round Table. If you want to hear more from the Round Table podcast, make sure to tune into the next episode.
